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But it is important that you start this conversation by reassuring her about the positive feelings you have towards her. It may help to consider the starker question of what are you getting from the relationship as it stands, and why are you together if much of it is not working as you would like. I am consistently told that no, she is just not in the mood. Alongside this you might want to think about your view of relationships. Again, if this is difficult to talk about counselling might be of use to you both. You need to have a very focused conversation with your girlfriend, in which you must share your true feelings without apportioning blame. Would she consider counselling.

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If this reveals deeper relationship or sexual problem a therapist could help. If so, could you begin again by asking her to help you out with a basic conversation about how she sees your sexual life, what she would like sex to be like, and how she feels with the current state of your relationship. Once you have a greater understanding about her reasons for avoiding sex you will be in a better position to make a decision about your future. Dr Petra Boynton, the Telegraph's sex and relationships agony aunt, analyses his situation and offers advice for moving things forward. Topics Sex Sexual healing. I have asked if there is anything I can do differently for her if there is something wrong. Noting this and making a deliberate effort to find ways to reconnect can help.

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Or they could be related to barriers within the relationship if either of you are feeling resentful. If this is the case are there ways to create more opportunities for you to spend time together — not just to have sex but to enjoy each other's company. Is this something that is important to you. I have talked to her, put it in writing. What views of relationships did you grow up with. I can see why this was something you wanted to try, given she prefers to read things through.

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Description: Is this something you could try via your college, for you if not for both of you. For example, perhaps she is suffering from anxiety, stress, depression, vaginismus or hormonal imbalance. If you have asked her, how does she react. Will you be able to work it out. What views of relationships did you grow up with. If this is the case are there ways to create more opportunities for you to spend time together — not just to have sex but to enjoy each other's company.
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